A time to live.... A time to die?

First time blogging First time groaning
First time moaning.......... Droning

I look around at my friends and wonder WHERE I've gone wrong! Why is it not me who gets the house the car the job the money???? Selfish? Am I? Am I really? Why am I here then? Is it not a natural human emotion to BE selfish? I do not know at which crossroads in my life things changed for me. Perhaps it was the marrying the first time bit? Perhaps? Or the hope that I could be better than who I am now. I don't know. Can anyone tell me why life is what it's not supposed to be? Many questions, as you can see. I have skills and talents I know that full well, I have my faith in the one true God. Yes, it's true that I know this life is but a fleeting moment in eternity. But my impatience suggests that I have a loooong way to go before eternity hits me. Or I hit eternity.

Pyjamas are still on me, by the way. It's now 4.30pm. Yet one more thing to feel guilty for. Want to change. The pyjamas to the clothes. And the poverty to feeling somewhat ok and fulfilled and satisfied. 'I am the Bread of Life', said Jesus. So let me eat THAT bread, and not the constant eternal hunger for something else which I THINK will make life better. Which it would, temporarily.

Signing off for now. Watch out for more random musings - perhaps when I feel more like my own self............